Chapter 3 - Situations Subchapter: Sexting

Sending and receiving sexts

Sexting presents risks that you can't necessarily control, and must be carefully considered.

For sexting to be a positive shared activity it should be:

  • respectful
  • consensual
  • legal and
  • private.

Both people must freely agree and be 100% comfortable to be sexting.

 

The Field Model diagram with two characters set to Yes, so both move to the Action Zone..

 

Talking about sexting

To find out how someone feels about sexting you should talk about it with them.

Having a conversation about sexting can help ensure that:

  • each person is 100% comfortable with any sexting
  • each person agrees to keep all sexts private
  • each person agrees to not pressure for images the other person doesn’t want to send
  • if the relationship ends, all sexts will be deleted and never shared, for any reason.

 

It’s important to be able to reach agreement with the other person. If they have different views to you about sexting, privacy and trust, then don’t sext with them.

 

Pressure and coercion

Putting pressure on someone to go against their needs, wants and desires is wrong.

 

Someone uncomfortably taking selfie, sending to another who receives the pic of blurred genitals.

 

  • C’mon everyone’s doing it
  • What are you frigid or something?
  • What do you mean you never sent a nude?
  • If you don’t send me a nude I’ll find someone who will
  • I’ve snapped this sweet nude of you so you better be nice to me

 

Pressuring someone to share an intimate image or video when they are not 100% comfortable is coercion.

If a person has been coerced into doing something, there is no free agreement and no consent.

 

Image-based abuse

Image-based abuse occurs when intimate, nude or sexual images or videos are taken or shared without the consent of the person shown in the images.

 

SHARE THE NUDE I WAS PRIVATELY SENT?

The Field Model diagram with one character set to No, so both move to the End Zone.

 

Unless the person depicted in the image or video has freely agreed to it being shared, there is no consent to share the image with anyone in any way.

Sharing the image and video without consent is a form of moving the line.

 

When one person imposes their will on another person, they’re moving the YES line over the person and breaching their individual rights.

 

Sexting risks

Sexting risks:

  • once an explicit digital image of you exists you can never know where it will end up or who will see it
  • there are laws about sharing intimate images and breaking them is serious.

 

Getting help

Accidents happen, sending things to the wrong person, or not realising a body part was visible in an image.

The first step is to try and get the recipient to delete the item and enlist friends or allies who can support you to make that happen.

If the recipient refuses to delete the image or shares the image online, there are steps you can take to have it removed from social media sites.

 

Report image-based abuse to the eSafety Commissioner

The eSafety Commissioner is a government agency that helps to keep people safe online by tackling image-based abuse and identifying and removing illegal content.

The eSafety Commissioner can help you with the removal of intimate images and videos that have been posted online.

When a law has been broken, they can also take action against the person who shared the intimate images or videos without consent.

You can contact the eSafety Commissioner for help as soon as you realise that intimate images or videos have been posted without your consent.

Visit the eSafety website to learn more.