Chapter 3 - Situations Subchapter: Sexting

Scenario: set some ground rules

Split-frame image of Riley in his bed looking at his phone, and Alyssa looking at her phone in her bed as well.


Alyssa and Riley met at a party and have been hooking up since. They hang out on weekends and chat most nights on a messaging app. They both love this one zombie show and have heaps of laughs guessing what’s going to happen next as they’re watching on their computers.

One night, Alyssa steers the conversation toward how her body is feeling and how much she likes him. Then she sends a couple of photos that show a little extra skin.

The photos are definitely sexy, but Riley wants to play it cool and not make assumptions. Alyssa often sends him pics of random things.

Riley soon realises Alyssa is waiting for him to get involved in the game. The zombies are quickly forgotten as he responds with some pics showing some skin.

Then, Alyssa says she’s wearing a new bra that she adores and asks if he’d like to see a pic of her wearing it. “Sure!” Riley responds.



The Field Model diagram where both Alyssa and Riley are a Yes, therefore entering the Action Zone.


The next night Alyssa and Riley meet up for a burger and a movie.

Alyssa checks in to make sure Riley understands that anything she sends him like that is only for him.

Riley says he misses her when they’re not together, and it’s super hot to be able to look at the pics she’s sent.

No way would he ever show anyone else, no matter what.

Alyssa sometimes chooses to send nudes.

She knows there are risks but she trusts Riley. It’s not the only thing they message about, but it’s definitely become a thing they do.

Before sending a nude, she always checks in with him, in case he’s not alone when he gets the pic.



The Field Model diagram with both Alyssa and Riley a Yes, therefore entering the Action Zone.


Sunday afternoon, Riley is hanging out with some mates and they’re talking about dating apps and how long after hooking up with a girl you should wait before sending a nude.

Riley wonders if Alyssa has been waiting for him to send her one – is that what he’s supposed to do? Maybe he is?

He sends her one without checking.

 “WOAH!!!!!!” Alyssa was straight into messaging - why’d you do that? why didn’t you ask? i’m at the shops with my mum!!”



The Field Model diagram with Riley as a Yes and Alyssa as a No - Riley moves the line and overrides Alyssa's No, bowling her over.


Even though Alyssa and Riley had set down ground rules for sending nudes, poor communication and misunderstandings can still cause problems.

Don’t assume - talk to your partner about how you are feeling or if anything feels unclear.