Scenario: warehouse party
Christo was pumped - this warehouse party was an absolute banger!
He’d been dancing for hours and felt he could keep at it till morning. Wearing the shorts and tank had been a good choice, and his new kicks were super comfortable.
The place was jammed but there were bars along each wall, so there wasn’t too much of a line for drinks.
Some of Christo’s mates were already loaded and he’d been drinking too. But he felt great dancing and didn’t want to get wasted and then miss the first morning train.
Also, he had his eye on a girl.
With so many people there was no way to know if she’d be interested unless he got a lot closer.
Everyone does it – dance right up into the girl’s space. Although, last weekend one of his mates got a face full of beer when he got too close and didn’t notice her trying to back away.
Christo didn’t want to get covered in alcohol and decided to dance over but only close enough to get her attention. Maybe he could just tap her on the shoulder, but don’t crowd in or restrict her movement.
CAN CHRISTO TOUCH THE GIRL ON HER SHOULDER?
This isn’t really a shared decision, but if Christo isn’t aggressive and is considerate of the girl’s personal space, a tap on the shoulder or a hand pressed to her back is a respectful way to get her attention.
Success! Her name is Brooke and she’s an amazing dancer - much better than Christo.
Brooke seems into him and doesn’t back away when he moves in closer and rests his hands on her hips. She drapes an arm around his shoulder.
CAN CHRISTO AND BROOKE GET MORE PHYSICAL WITH EACH OTHER?
Although nothing has been said, Christo and Brooke seem tuned into each other’s body language and are responding to positive cues.
After about an hour, Christo offers to grab them some bottles of water.
On his way back from the bar, he sees a guy getting right up close to Brooke. The guy is grabbing and grinding and its gross and Brooke looks scared, really upset.
She’s trying to push him off, but the guy just goes harder.
What should he do? Should he do anything?
Christo could step-in and intervene by:
- Checking in: by observing Brookes body language Christo can tell she is not comfortable with the way this guy is behaving.
- Disrupt: Christo could jump straight in and challenge the guy
- Recruit: The guy might be part of a group and Christo is one person.
Christo can see his mates dancing nearby. He grabs Ian and they squeeze through the crowd towards Brooke. She reaches for the bottle of water then wedges herself between Christo and Ian.
Ian just glares at the guy and he moves away. Ian is pretty impressive. Be like Ian.
And be like Christo. Be prepared to step-in.