Chapter 2 - Influences Subchapter: Respect

Wrap up

What is respect?

  • Respect is an action, and not just one action but several types of action.
  • We respect authority by complying with commands. (Although we don’t have to comply if authority is being abused.)
  • We respect people at a personal level by considering their human rights and restraining ourselves when we make decisions that affect them. (And we should give this level of respect no matter who the person is.)
  • We can empathise with people by learning about their experiences.
  • We can admire people for their achievements and qualities.


Respect and the Field Model

  • The Field Model helps you behave respectfully towards people in personal relationships.
  • It is based on the idea that we are individuals with rich inner worlds, and human rights.
  • It separates formal and personal relationships.
  • Stop Ask Listen is about considering, restraining and empathising.
  • Yes No I Don’t Know gives you a framework for making shared decisions.
  • Moving the Line defines disrespectful behaviour.
  • Stepping In reinforces that we all build respect in our society.


Respect in intimate relationships

  • We should respect each other in all personal relationships.
  • We need to work even harder to respect our partners in intimate relationships.
  • Our respect can be threatened by familiarity, desire, possessiveness and dependence.
  • Disrespect in an intimate relationship can look like carelessness, assumptions or controlling behaviour (or even violence).
  • We can build respect by applying the Field Model, respecting our partner’s body, using respectful communication and encouraging our partner to maintain their own inner and outer worlds.


Respecting yourself

  • It’s easier to respect others if you respect yourself.
  • Self-respect helps you make decisions in your own best interests, as well as stand up for others.
  • Self-respect is made up of the same forms of respect we give other people—considering, empathising, admiring—but applied to ourselves.
  • You can consider your own innate human worth, dignity and rights.
  • You can empathise with your own past experiences, and understand how you got to where you are.
  • You can take pride in our qualities, achievements and relationships.
  • You can maintain your respect when people challenge it by reaffirming your rights, reaching out for support, and standing up for the rights of others.